My Happy - Sad Week (WE NEED A CHILD)

This week is both happy and sad for me in many ways.  First I am so happy to say that on Friday February 11^th Miriam and I will be celebrating our 16^th wedding anniversary.  Time sure does fly when you’re having fun.  It seem as it was just yesterday that we were at the temple waiting for the wedding to happen.  But even better for me she has put up with all my silly silly ways for all these years.  Many people have had us tell the story of our wedding day and some of the crazy stuff but with the cold snap in the weather I felt so much like the day 16 years ago I wanted to share with anyone who is up for a long story. 

We were getting ready for our wedding in February and this says to most of the people who live in Colorado that February = SNOW well it sure did and it snowed good.  That week of our wedding it seemed to snow every day.  Best yet the day before our wedding it came down hard and left many people stranded in their cars and on busses around the city.  At the time I was driving a wonderful 1978 Ford Pinto (had a hard time getting traction in the snow even with great tires) and ended up getting stuck in a snow bank.  I was picked up by my father and we went home leaving the Pinto at the parking lot that it was stuck in.  As days go it was not much fun but the feeling of excitement was flowing in my heart knowing that in a few hours I would be marred to Miriam.  I called her and told her about how I was stuck and that my father was able to get me, she continued to get ready for the next day’s events.  Later that evening I was getting all my stuff together so that the next morning would be smooth at the wedding.  When I remembered that I had forgotten the wedding license in the Pinto.  So after having a conversation (one sided on his side and loud) with my father about going to get the license we headed out to get it in the blizzard.  During our trek my father’s two way radio was going off about busses that were stuck and other fun caused by the weather making him remember that he had forgot to bring home the slide projector so that at the reception we could project slides from his work.  So we made our way over to his work to pick it up good thing we were already out for my forgetfulness (hahah looks like it runs in the family.)  Our small adventure ended up taking several hours and by the time we managed to get home it was very late so we went right to bed.  The next morning was early and because of all the snow we needed to get an early start over to the temple.  When we arrived we were about the first ones in the parking lot but that was good so that we had plenty of time to get ready.  I went in and changed my clothing and was ready for the wedding to start (this is when it gets good do not give up on my story yet) but a small problem I was without a bride.  After several minutes one of the brothers helping with the wedding stepped over to me and said “Brother Staples, the wedding is to start did you bring the bride?”  Well at that minute my already throbbing chest dropped to my knees.  I responded with “My Bride, we live in different areas and she was going to come up with her family…..I, I, I, do not know where she is”… At this point I was sure that I was being stood up at the alter because when I call her house I was not getting an answer and they were very late.  Remember this is before cell phones were around for everyone so I had no way of just calling her on her phone.  At that point they could see that I was beginning to get real worried so they had me sit down and wait a little longer.  About the time I was about to get real panicked in to the front doors my bride walks with her mother in tow behind talking a mile a minute about not being ready.  I went over and asked what was going on (I am sure that at that minute I must have not had any color in my face because Miriam gave me the look like she was seeing the dead) and Miriam rolled her eyes and said that “Mom was not ready so we had to wait” now to a man that was sure that he was being left behind by the woman he loved this was a minute that I felt many feelings that we will not discuss today.  I said that I was grateful that she was ready now and that she should take her mother back and get ready because we were already late.  At the time I did not quite understand the situation but now after being in the family this many years I understand how it is that my then future and now only Mother-in-law was not ready.  I have grown to love my Mother-in-law and now see her need to make sure that everything is perfect, this is who she is and who she raised my wife to be so I am blessed for her methods.  The wedding was amazing and the fun was only beginning, I have had 16 years of fun so far and I cannot wait to see what happens in the future. 

To my bride, wife, and only:

    I would be nothing without you, I take every breath in amazement that you with your wonderful spirit picked me to be your husband.  Every day you have the chance to choose me or not to choose me and yet every day you pick me.  THANK YOU!   To you and all your special ways from taking care of our home, to being the best wife anyone could ever have or want you are truly special.  When you work on your crafts my heart is happy, when you play a game, my heart is happy, when you are even just in the same room my heart is happy, you make my heart happy.  You are a chosen daughter of your heavenly father and carry within your little body an enormous spirit that has the tenderness of a saint built in to it.  That spirit is what keeps me in love with you and know that you will be the most wonderful wife for time and all eternity.  I want you to know that every day when it is time to come home from work to be with you I get so excited that it is as if I am on my way to pick you up for our very first date, you make my heart flutter in excitement and joy and I am as a love sick puppy when I see you.  (I need to stop all the mushy stuff or everyone reading will be sick)

Last thing for this post is WE NEED A CHILD… My wife the woman of my dreams will be the best mother but in order to be a mother we need a child.  So this year is our year we are going to do everything we can to make this happen so if you are reading this we need your help please spread the word, tell everyone do not let Miriam’s mothering skills go another minute without a child to be a mother to.  Pass it on.

MIRIAM I LOVE YOU FOREVER

It's the little things that make us happy

Miriam and I had the opportunity to spend some time with friends this last weekend playing a new game.  Is I write that it sounds a little odd to me spend time with friends like this is something that is different.  Well it is in many ways we are so busy with things to occupies ourselves while we wait for the blessing of a child that we forget the simple things.  So for us to just hang out and play games, talk and laugh it was great.  So to our friends who know who they are thank you so much for the fun!  ;-)

We were watching TV last night and Miriam picked to watch the show Doogie Howser M.D., and it hit me that he would spend time on the computer to write in his journal.  I have long felt that when I write in a journal it had to be some long multiple page entry that caused permanent hand paralysis from gripping the pen so tight.  But for me last nights show was an eye opener.  I had set out to make a journal entry everyday but knowing that it does not need to be some Dan Brown novel to be a good entry.  I am going to use this as a type of therapy to deal with the adoption process.    

Always Something Going On That Makes A Person Think

I was at work this week and had a real interesting talk with a co-worker.  This co-worker is someone that I have not had much contact with we have passed in the halls, and I have worked on their equipment a time or two but not much conversation other than work related stuff.  While I was in the process of fixing his computer this week he said to me that he went out and checked out my website a few months ago.  Because I have more than one I asked what site was he talking about?  He said the one about adoption, he saw it on my signature at the bottom of my email and wanted to see what I was advertising.  At first he wanted to know if we were discussing adoption for other people to get the word out.  But then he read more and figured out that it was both to get the word out for others but for us as well.  He went on saying that after he checked out the site he then went to the other links to our blog and to the profiles page for adoption.  He was real positive about it, and wanted to show his family our site thinking that this was a good way to get the word out.  When he was at home he and his wife were looking and discussing the site and adoption when their daughter came in the room and started talking about how she has a friend at school that is pregnant and not sure what to do with the child when it is born.  Well as they say God works miracles everyday so the father said that he had something to show her and pulled up our website on the computer and they discussed the stuff that he had seen.  The girl then wrote down our website URL and brought it to school with her.  She told her father that she did not want to make her friend feel bad or uncomfortable so she went to the student councilor and gave the information to her.  She then turned around and checked out the site for herself.  From my co-workers information the councilor went on to pass this on to the pregnant girl and others so that they could have a way to contact someone for adoption if that was the way that the wanted to go.  My c-worker when on to tell me that the girl with the baby had placed it up for adoption and was happy with her decision, and that his child was happy that this girl did this and not anything else.  This made my day I was real happy to hear about this (I was a little sad that I was not the chosen father to be for this girls child but it must not have been ours in the first place) getting the word out is what we need to do for ourselves and for others and this is just one way to do this.

This got me thinking about other ways that I can get the word out, how can I make sure that I have everything out so that people know this is happening.  Miriam had an idea the other evening when we went to dinner at a Mexican food restaurant who is getting ready to print new menus and is selling advertising space on them.  Could you really put an adoption advertisement on a menu of a Mexican Food restaurant?  I at this point do not see why not.  I have also wanted to find out that when my work does a health and welfare check and information fair if we could put a booth up and get the word out that way.

Last shocking thing for this entry we were at my families home over the holiday to celebrate and my father out of the blue says "what do we need to do to get you a kid?"  Not that my father is not a great man  but I almost fell on the floor, I did not know he was even interested in this process let alone for him to ask what they could do to make this happen.  My first thought was that he is beginning to get tired of my mother bugging him about us and this adoption thing.  Then my thoughts turned to may be it was us talking about it to much.  But for real at that moment I felt that it was our Heavenly Father touching his heart and letting him know that this was what needed to happen.  So I am now on the hunt to find more ways that he can help get the word out.  How I do not know but I will keep looking for new and different ways for him to help.

Happy (Family, Crafting) Thanksgiving Day!

Today is a great day to be thankful.  I am thankful for the time Marty and I get to spend with family.  Of course there will be good food but also plenty of storytelling and laughter.  We love getting together with family.  Now family does not always mean blood relatives only.  In both of our families, friends have become family. 

Traditions (Changes and Additions):

Marty's family has gone to the movie theater on Thanksgiving day for many years.  This year we are going to see the latest Harry Potter movie. 

My family always has a large dinner with plenty of discussion and fun.  Mom and Dad made all the good food when the kids were growing up.  The kids helped with some dishes (I can put together a killer relish plate) and setting the table with Mom's china and silver.  Now the adult children each contribute to the meal. 

A new tradition that I have brought to both families is crafting.  Each year I bring down craft supplies and we make something fun (usually Christmas themed).  Last year we made wreaths.  It was so much fun seeing each persons own creation. 

The best tradition of all is family.  We both look forward to the time spent with family.  I have heard of people being upset that they 'have' to spend time with family at the holidays.  I am very grateful that both Marty and I have awesome families that are fun to be around.

Happy Family Day!
Happy Crafting Day!
Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Fireside last night

Well it happened again the Colorado chapter of FSA held a fireside last night for people who are adopting, have adopted or have placed for adoption a child.  We had some great speakers talk to us about their experiences.  First up was a young woman, who was adopted, she had many good things to say about how it was good for her to be adopted by a loving family and how the relationships went with her family.  She related many story how she had two brothers who were not adopted but they managed to get along like all other siblings.  Beyond the stories one thing that she said that I loved was that she knew that she was part of the family and that she was where she needed to be.  Next we had a recently placed birth mother talk about her placement.  She placed a little boy with a couple who had a little girl from before, helping to complete their hopes of a well-rounded family.  She talked about how it was a hard decision but the right decision to place her child up for adoption.  She also discussed how it has changed her life to have three more people in her family because she feels that they did not just adopt her child but they adopted her as well.  It is always great to hear about the birth mothers views of adoption, so that we know what is going on in her head during the process.  We then had a musical number that was very beautiful and caused many to tear up, it was about a birth mother giving up her child and telling the child that she did not give up on it but that she was giving it more.  Very nice!  Last speaker was a local LDS stake president who had adopted his two boys.  He discussed how times have changed and how they did not have the open adoption like they are now and how he wished that he could have had that type of adoption.  He told about each of his boys and their personalities, how they differ but are all meant to be together as a family and that is how it has always been.  Nice stories and great spirits were had during the fireside I find that I cannot sit through one of those without tearing up myself.  I noticed that both Miriam and I were happy to hear about the successful adoptions and how the stories changed their lives but it still hurts quite a bit when you think about how long we have been waiting and have wanted children of our own.  I know that it is Gods will and not my will when it will happen but it sure seems like a long wait for this to happen. 

I also wanted to talk about Miriam and how wonderful she is.  She is working so hard to get ready for the adoption; she has begun to put things together that she can sell on her etsy store.  I feel so proud of her when she shows me the finished projects and I want to show everyone.  The problem is with everything Miriam makes I love them and do not want to let them go.  She makes things and they are so nice and look so good that I do not want to let them go.  I know that it is for the better and that is why she makes them but she has so much talent that I almost want to put them in a museum or a place for people to walk through to see her work.  

Marty..My Love

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my husband?  He is the perfect match for me.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that I knew him and loved him before this lifetime.  Here are some of the ways he is perfect for me:

1. He loves me completely.

• He constantly tells me he loves me and how beautiful I am.  He laughs when I am silly.  He loves my flaws.  He loves my family.  He is always accepting of me, no matter what.

2. He supports my crafting ways.

• The bedroom that is going to be our children's room has been my craft room. I love to create with my hands.  Crafting is in my blood.  I grew up with a mother who always is making something (sewing, knitting, etc.). Marty understands how much I love to craft.  He understands how exciting it is for me to learn something new and perfect it.  He has been understanding when I couldn't go to sleep until I finish a task.  He has never complained when I choose to switch projects on a whim.
• Marty has even requested that I knit at time when he is experiencing stress.  He loves the sound of the quiet and rhythmic click of the needles.

3. He loves me when I wiggle.

• I constantly have a need to move my body.  I am just wiggily.  I wiggle when I am awake and especially when I am asleep.  Despite the fact that my wiggling sometimes wakes him up at night he still loves me.

4. He will be the perfect father for our children.

• I can not begin to imagine not have a family with Marty.  He loves children (just like I do).  He loves them when their little and when their big. Kids are precious gifts from a loving Heavenly Father and Marty treats them this way.

I am so grateful that Marty loves me.  I am so grateful that we found each other.  I know that my life has been made perfect because of his influence.  He makes me laugh.  He holds me when I cry.  He is My Love.

Miriam

Look UP!

I now work closer to the foot hills.  During my long ride to work this week I was in the process of listening to the radio (in my own world of thoughts),  When I spotted them, two hot air balloons just above the horizon.  This was even more cool when you understand that when I go to work it is dark and every time they would hit the gas to get more hot air the balloon would light up.  Wow I enjoyed it so much that I pulled my car over to the side of the road and stopped to watch for several minutes.  As I was watching the two of them float higher and higher it made me think of several things.  First would I ever want to go up in a hot air balloon?  To answer this I need to express my dislike and distrust for wicker.  This includes but is not limited to baskets, furniture and other products made of flimsy and unstable sticks.  Second in my head I think what happens if their is a problem and the balloon begins to come down.  What could someone do?  We seen pilots bring in big 747's by gliding it to the ground but in my 38 years of life have never been told by anyone about a balloon pilot bringing in a deflated hot air balloon to the ground safely.  So would I ever go up in one....?  NO, NOT NOW, NOT EVER!!
Now the part that I wanted to post about.  As the two balloons were floating up I started thinking about the adoption process, not everyone's but my experiences with adoption.   We started this process and I was so sure that we would adopt so quick that I was worried about not being ready.  This was a joke we have not been waiting long but after spending more than 15 years with my wife wanting children of our own to hurry up to get paper work in and then just wait is hard to do.  So like someone that wants to be a hot air balloon pilot I need to assemble my balloon and all of its parts.  I am going to relate this to me I am like a hot air balloon (no we are not discussing size, or the fact that I am full of hot air) I need things to do what I was designed to do.  So the pilot need to assemble part, he would need a balloon, ropes, a basket, sand bags, support staff, fuel, a flame, communication tools and best yet tools.  So lets say that I am the balloon, I will need ropes, who or what would that be?  The ropes would be my family the people in my life that can help keep me grounded and safe when strong winds are blowing.  Next I would need a basket to hold the pilot, tools, passengers and anything else that might be needed for the fight.  For me the basket is my wife, she seems to always be able to hold everything together like keeping the balloon, ropes, fuel, people, and everything else working together for one common cause.  Next sand bags to keep the basket level and going in the correct direction, I think that the sand bags are Kelly our adoption case worker, the FSA group that we are a part of and everyone else that is working in the back ground to keep everything moving.   Next the fuel, this is very important and that is the birth parents, they will make a hard decision but a very important one to get me in the air.  They are going to share a major part of their lives with me and get me up and going to get to my potential.  Last for me the flame that lights the fuel that makes this all happen.  The flame for me is the knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me and has made a plan that will allow me to reach for the sky and be who he knows me to be.  He loves me and wants me to have all that I can.  So he inspired the plan of adoption, a way for people like me to have a family.  So I have the balloon, the basket, ropes, a flame, sand bags, but I am missing the fuel.
As I put this all down I know that it is a little on the silly side but when I was thinking about this it seemed to relate to my feelings at the moment.  So I feel very open to put down that I am grateful for all that I have and want to thank everyone for all that they do for me.  Please keep up the good work and help us find the fuel (the birth parents).